at the signal..

I was standing at the signal waiting for the signal to turn red.. listening to the usual RJ chatter.. And as usual there were these beggars cum salespeople who beg and sell their product at signals.. There were these kids along with an older lady trying to sell bouquet with all dead flowers and begging you to by them.. One boy passed my car and I just happened to look at the flowers drying.. noticing me paying some attention he stopped at my car and starting gesturing me to buy it and begging..

I did what I usually do, ignored and looked away to the empty passenger seat and looked busy.. After a few seconds I could still see a shadow on my car window. The boy was standing there mesmerized looking inside the car..

I quickly locked my car from inside unsure of what he may do.. but then noticed something... The boy had placed his mouth on the glass and was trying to beg.. that had created a small patch of frost.. He looked at it all mesmerized and started drawing something..As soon as it dried he blew on the glass again and drew some more.. oblivious of my presence and of his purpose on that street.. He was living the moment.. Enjoying every bit of the lines he drew, the figures that came alive and with each new figure his smile grew bigger...

I kept looking at him drawing more and more on my car window deeply engrossed in his masterpiece..which were nothing but some lines..maybe trying to draw an alphabet or a figure..

What he wanted to make was not important but how passionately he wanted to make it was..

The signal turned green and i looked up to see traffic moving.. I turned to the window instantly but the boy had disappeared..into the darkness..back to begging..

And i was left wondering...

There he was, a boy in rags, begging, illiterate yet fascinated by such a trivial thing.. He would be struggling everyday to make a living, to fight the older boys and make something extra so that is spared the rod that night.. Yet in all the greater troubles that life has subjected him to..he did not leave his childlike fascination... the joy of making something.. of living the moment..

And here I was living in luxury, making a lifestyle statement yet so far away from the child like fascination which is so easy to nurture, develop and build on for someone like me yet so far away a thought.. the price you pay for being educated!!!

and there you go again...

"And so I decided not to tell them and do my own thing and probably come back and tell them later.." And so I went on and on about my day and tussle with my team. I stopped in between and said "U there?" "Aggrrhhh" He burped loudly!!! I was so annoyed "thanks for the reaction!!" He laughed and said " No dear..i always burp when am talking to you.." "That doesnt make things any better" I said.. "Think of it this way.. you are the antacid in my acidity filled life"..He said in a soft charming voice..My angry red cheeks turned into blushing red cheeks.

And with that I imagined myself wrapped in a pink/yellow packet walking around like digene.. and some pharmaceutical company makes me their brand ambassador and calls their anatacid 'Lochan' and the tagline..."She is the antacid in your acidity filled life".. Every where I go people will take my autograph. All people (men and women alike) would love to associate with me as I acted as their antacid. I will give regular interviews on various health related chat shows about how I have this innate quality of getting rid of acidity..I will have my own fan following with people writing me fan mails..I will have my face on a huge billboard on one of the Dhaula Kuan flyovers with the tagline "Mujhse dosti karo, acidity door bhagao"

My imagination had no bound and I already had a distant look with a smile on my face.. "Agggrrhhh" He burped again interrupting my trail of thought..Thats when I realised that I need to get him a check up from the doctor and stop his burping.. coz I got distracted while counting all the money I made..now I would need to start all over again!!! "Agrrrrhhh"

Dear Diary...

Dear Diary...

It was a beautiful evening..light breeze making me sway with it.. Just wanted to start dancing in that weather and was hoping that can catch some rain drops on my hands..I was sitting at my usual place and enjoying the nice weather after a long day of scorching sun..And then I saw him, the most amazing creation of God..He walked upto me and sat beside me. He did not notice I was sitting there and continued talking on the phone..I guess to his girlfriend. I looked at him and was awed.. God had taken some time and made a creature like him..He had beautiful eyes, was smart and intelligent and by reading his company tag got to know he is a scientist.. and whatever I know of them, they create something..and guess whatever they create is meant to make the world more beautiful..

Just as I was admiring him,he said bye to his girlfriend,put his phone in his pocket and snubbed his cigarette on my leg, got up and walked off..I was awestruck.. But unfortunately I should say I have gotten used to it with atleast 10-15 people snubbing their cigarettes on my leg and walking off..

All are God's greatest creation to make this world more beautiful but alas...

Love

Tag : Plant 201, Infinity Towers, Gurgaon

Till death do us apart...

I slowly climb into the bed crying myself to sleep..only to wake up the next morning startled to find the bed empty..
I pick up the phone and dial your number but noone answers the call..
I get ready and have breakfast with a plate kept for you..Hoping you will return soon...

I pulled myself up from the table and tore myself apart from these feelings, shutting my eyes to every thing that reminded me of you.
With each passing day, I got less startled when i couldnt feel your body next to mine on the bed ..with each passing call i got less worried that i cant hear your voice, with each passing week i accepted that i wont see your smiling face at the table..With each passing month, I cried lesser when i climbed into the bed. With each passing year i mentioned you lesser in my talks..
With each passing decade, you became another picture on the wall..
I dont miss you in bed, i cant recall what your voice sounded like, i have to look at your picture to remind me what you looked like..
You always used to say.. Till death do us apart..I never believed you till death really did us apart..

Identity of life

What is life? People have asked me this and I have asked this question to people and myself a million times. All of us turn to something and say "Thats not life" or say "thats life". We dont like our jobs so say "Thats not life". We travel by bus in the scorching heat and look at the person in the air conditioned car crossing us and say "Thats life!" But what is life?Do we understand it?
I have read many sayings and forwards talking about what life is and is not etc. But that does not define life and give it an identity.It only tells you all that life comprises of. So why cant we define life?
Because unfortunately the entire irony of life is that you understand its meaning when you see death.. We all live life every moment, every single day and seem to have understood one more day of life not because we lived one more day of life but because we are one more day closer to death. It is the presence of black that makes white what it is. It is the realisation of darkness that makes sunlight what it is. In the absence of one, the other is incomplete. In the absence of death there is no meaning of life. Thus life itself derives its identity from death. It is the absence of death that creates life and not vice versa. Thus we got to understand death to understand life!!

Sacrifice

Sacrifice..is a simple word..Its two hearts living in two separate worlds..
Is there something called sacrifice?Why is it considered as a great thing.Dont we all get some form of satisfaction by doing a sacrifice.Then how we can call it beyond self. Is it not the desire to look and feel benevolent which desires us to sacrifice.Is it not the want of a better feeling about ourselves that makes us want to sacrifice.Is it not the desire for acknowledgement that helps us sacrifice.
A tree doesnt sacrifice its flowers to give fragrance to the world, its a natural process. When there is no sacrifice in nature, how can we be beyond nature and have a feeling of sacrifice without getting anything out of it??

Whose Life is it anyway?

Whose life is it anyway
Hve you ever wondered why elderly people are cynical and generally reflective in life and always have a piece of advice for the young generation. Yes it is because they have lot of time in hand but its also because they hope that the next generation doesnt do the same mistakes as they did. Yet, somehow history repeats itself. Lets say for instance in the case of marriage.
They say marriages are made in heaven but not in India.They were made at other people's weddings, in temples, kitty parties and mostly family function and off late on marriage websites. But whatever the mode of marriage be, the fundamental concept of marriage in India doesn't change- "We choose the person you would get married to!!"
I have heard so many ladies and even men boasting as to how they have raised their kids with lot of freedom. Their kids can go out late at night partying,the son can pursue hotel management and daughter can do MBA which never used to happen in their zamana. But one place where they are not given and should not be given freedom to decide is their own wedding.
Majority of men and women in our country are not happy in their marriage which is why you rarely see an elderly couple having a lengthy or sweet conversation. They are so sick and tired of each other that they would rather be with other toothless,hairless,eyesightless men than be with their wives!
But despite this it is the same set of people who will scream,shout cry,raise hell if you bring home a person of your choice and where you know that you would be happy with him/her for the rest of your life. Why? Dont ask me I really dont know. Maybe its jealousy or maybe that they are so moulded by the way things are done that they dont want to look at another alternative to life.
They eventually create so much chaos that you end up giving in and get married to a person of their choice than go through the screaming and shouting everyday. You are convinced that you will eventually be happy and that things will fall in place. But when they dont they dont give you your money back .
I wish marriages came with a guarantee card. If it breaks within the guarantee period you return the spouse and get another one.Or if not atleast should be insured that if it doesnt work, you can claim an amount from all those who got you into it in the first place.
I have seen and am still seeing the whole marriage frenzy around me and been forced to think about it without a choice coz I have been bombarded with it from left right and center and I have come to the conclusion that all Indian parents may differ in all other aspects of life but think alike when it comes to marriages. They still look at it as one milestone in their life which they need to get over with as soon as possible and ensure all stakeholders in the project are happy. But like a lot of other Indian projects forget to take voice of the customer before launching the project.
As a friend of mine once said " The two people who are the least important in a wedding are the bride and the groom". Be it to decide the menu or even the person to get married to, they are too young to decide.
Our parents go through the same thing everyday but tend to forget that marriages are not between two families but between two people. No one knows what happens between the couple once the bedroom door closes. No one knows that one would rather read a boring book than talk to the spouse.It is always about making a good impression and as long as you do that in front of your extended family your parents are happy.And that is the ultimate purpose of your life to make your parents happy!
History doesnt repeat itself because life doesnt have more things to offer but because our parents mould us into the same kind of life they have lived or are comfortable with and because we are not too strong enough to take our lives into our hands and for once decide to put an end to this.
Life will not come a full circle and maybe just continue to be a cluster of dots if we decide to take this life in our hands because afterall Whose life is it anyway?